Special Forces Army Sergeant – John Tyree (Channing Tatum…OMG can you say HOT? He’s GORGEOUS!) – who is home on a two-week leave from Germany and he meets a college student – Savannaah Curtis (Amanda Seyfried) – after he dives into the ocean to retrieve Savannah’s purse that had fallen off the pier. A budding romance occurs, and Savannah falls deeply in love with John. As she is about to go back to college, she promises to write John overseas during the next 12-months until he returns to her after completing his enlistment. Their love is put to the test when John reenlists after the 9/11 attack.

So what does this movie have to do with my ‘funk’ I’ve been in the last few days? Some of you remember Seth I dated awhile ago, some of you probably have no clue what I’m talking about (it’s a long story). He is in the Army, in the special forces even! While our story is nothing like the movie it’s everything like the movie – if that makes any sense.

I’ve been doing a really good job of ‘hiding’ how I feel lately. In fact I was pretty sure it wasn’t the least bit apparent to anyone that I still had feelings for him (boy was I wrong). I mean after all this time there’s no reason I should still have feelings for him.

I had a minor (ok major) meltdown at the movies. My poor sister didn’t know what to do other than hug me and let me cry. I seriously cried through the ENTIRE movie! The tears started within the first 10-15 minutes of the movie and didn’t end until well into the next morning! I cried a lot (it’s been awhile since I’ve had a cry like this lol).

There’s a part of my heart that still belongs to him and it frustrates me. I know you can’t help who you fall in love with and I truly didn’t expect to fall in love with Seth – it just happened. It took me by surprise but when I fall…I fall really hard and I fell harder than I’ve fallen before.

Soon he’ll be redeploying and just like times in the past my heart falls to my toes thinking about him being in danger again. I get sick to my stomach thinking about him leaving without me getting to say goodbye. I get sick to my stomach thinking about how I still feel and the fact he doesn’t know it…even though it wouldn’t matter even if he did.

So I wonder – how long is long enough before you’re ready to move on? Why does it take longer to move on from some relationships than it does other ones?

Almost 2 years ago (the end of January will mark 2 years) I ‘met’ one of the most amazing men. He was everything I’d always wanted in a man – smart, cute, funny, kind, caring, selfless, honest (sometimes too honest! lol), loving, treated me with respect, wanted to know my input about situations. He was down to earth, easy to get along with and a hero in more ways than one. I looked at him as a hero in two ways – (1) because he was/is a soldier and anyone that is selfless enough to put themselves in harms way to fight for our freedom is a hero in my book. But (2) I looked at him as a hero because he was so amazing to me…or at least he tried to be. It wasn’t so easy for me to let him treat me like a princess. I wasn’t used to a man having respect for me. I wasn’t used to a man caring what my thoughts/feelings were. My past issues caused a lot of problems in our relationship…eventually pushing him away.

So many people didn’t understand my relationship with him. We were introduced while he was deployed so our relationship was emails, instant messaging, etc. It was the most ‘intimate’ relationship I’d ever had. When you are forced to build a relationship around nothing but communication the bond you build with that person is indescribable!

Anyways things came to an end but we remained friends. He was still so supportive and ‘there’ for me through so many things. Only problem was all this ‘friends’ stuff wasn’t helping me move on it was only making my love for him even stronger. It’s been a little over a year since we broke up and the love for him is still there. The dull ache in my heart is still there. The longing to have him in my life is still there. The hole that I feel like I have in my heart is still there.

The point to all this?

I knew there would be a time that I had to let him go. I’ve been holding onto him all this time when there wasn’t anything to hold onto and it’s been painful. Earlier tonight salt got poured into an already open wound and it was then that I realized it was time to let go and say goodbye once and for all. The sad thing? I feel even more hurt right now because of how I handled a situation with him. He had some very important news to share with me but I acted in a selfish manner and instead of stopping to think about his feelings I only cared about mine and the fact that the wounds that hadn’t healed yet (because I kept hanging on to him instead of letting go) were opened even deeper. But maybe what unfolded tonight was exactly what I needed to make me open my eyes and realize it was time to let go and move on once and for all regardless of how hard it is.

But I have one question…

Why does it take a minute to say hello but takes forever to say goodbye?

Inquiring minds want to know (ok at least my inquiring mind wanted to know!):

Do you accept Facebook friend requests from ex boyfriends/girlfriends?

Most of the answers were pretty similar to my thoughts. There are some ex’s that you can say yes to and others you can’t. Looks like most everyone accepts the requests.

Twitter Answers:

SMWomen – “It depends on our relationship NOW. I have exes who are current friends. For them-yes. Exes who are out of my life -NO.”

Chele – “I did. But maybe I’m weird. I don’t have anything to hide. They are ex’s for a reason. Unless they were stalker ex’s? LOL”

michellegust – “Depends on how things ended. If on a good note then yes, otherwise nope.”

Patrysha – “Hasn’t come up yet…course my last boyfriend was over 20 years ago…Oh with the exception of my step-dad’s grandson who was my bf for about 10 minutes when we were 13 & 14.”

Tsoniki – “I have one ex on my facebook, but he is from high school & how old am I? LOL Plus been married for so long, he is too, etc.”

Facebook Answers:

Heather – “I do… but I’m friends with all of mine…they are all on here and my friends… even my exhusband…and his wife… and they are neighbors on farm town… but i’m weird.”

April – “I do. I’ve actually got 4 or 5 ex boyfriends as friends on Facebook. I figure whatever happened is in the past, we’re adults, we can get over it enough to share silly quiz results and tend to each others’ Farmville farms;).”

Jamie (Finally a male’s perspective!!! Thanks for answering Jamie! LOL) – “Depends on the length of time when the relationship ended, and if you can actually stay friends. Sometimes they are better friends then anything before.”

LaTara – “I do and that is because we are all friends.”

Linda – “I do, and so does my husband. As long as you are not wanting to hook back up i do not see anything wrong with it.”

Christa – “Haven’t had one request me yet, but I probably would. My hubby follows 2 of his…I am friends with one of them, she is rather cool wish we could have been friends years ago. Him and I have been married for over 16 years (together over 17) now so these relationships are well past over.”

Jennifer (Jen you are such a dork! LOL) – “Go for it!  Add your ex-girlfriends…  lol”

Kelli – “Ex-boyfriends absolutely…Ex-husbands absolutely NOT!! Heehee!! Just joking. I usually accept everyone .”

Annette – “Yes, I am “friends” with an ex on FB & Bebo. I’ve been with my Hubby for almost 19yrs so all exes are Ancient History as far as romance is concerned!! LOL”

My Opinions:

First off thank you everyone that took the time to pipe in and give me your answers.

I’m kind of on the fence about this. There are those I have accepted their friend requests and those that I didn’t. And there’s one ex that I know he has a Facebook page (ok yes I was a little ’stalkerish’ curious and did a search for him!) but I’m so glad he didn’t send a friend request…I still care about him and it would be way too hard to have him as a friend on Facebook.

So back to where I was…some are yes and some are no. I don’t have anything to hide from any of my ex’s (heck some of them read my blog which has caused problems in the past but that’s a whole different post). If they want to know what I’m up to that’s fine I don’t care. Do I want to know what they are up to? Some of them yes, some of them no.

I’ve accepted a friend request from an ex only to realize I don’t want to be his friend so I’ve deleted him. Not because I still care for him or anything like that but just because it causes too many problems for me…and I won’t go into details about this certain person but I’ll just say he has issues and leave it at that

So…do you accept your ex’s Facebook Friend Requests?

I’ve made a decision over the events of the last few days to make my profile on the dating site I was using inactive. It’s still there just not viewable to other members.

Update on “The Prospects”:

In my post it’s raining men I shared there were three new prospects. Just a day later in one man down two to go…well there were now only two prospects.

So I did email prospect #3 – the dude with no nickname to cancel our date for tonight. I did that yesterday.

Yesterday I was looking forward to meeting prospect #2 – the older man. But that all changed pretty quickly around 12:30 yesterday afternoon. And it was a bit of a bummer because I had connected really well with him! Once we talked on the phone we couldn’t shut up! Conversation was easy, fun, intriguing and leaving me with excitement to meet him.

The events of 12:30 yesterday afternoon that unfolded around Older Man, prospect #2:

My best friend B and our friend J work together & often go out to lunch together. Yesterday was no different. J has a profile on the same dating site I do so we often exchange stories with the men prospects to each other including B (who by the way thinks J and I are too picky when it comes to looks LOL).

Imagine my surprise, as I’m talking and getting things set up with B and J for them to go with me Friday night to the bar to meet Older Man when J is like OMG is he from ________ and I was like yes. And my mouth hung open as she said OMG is his name _______. I’m pretty sure I couldn’t even mutter a yes at that point!

I was mad. Silly I know considering uhm hello that’s what people do when they are on a dating site – talk to other people – but I just couldn’t wrap my brain around the fact that of all the women on the site he was emailing my friend J. I mean seriously what are the chances???? Oh and he’s still married! Separated but married none the less.

As we are talking J is sending him text messages and then all of a sudden I get this text message from him:

Ok. I’m having a very odd day. I’ve been emailing someone in ______ around the same time as you now I hear you guys are friends??!!!

I responded back yep and I’m just a little creeped out by this whole thing. His response back:

Interesting to say the least. I think I should bow out at this point. Very awkward. I would have never of dreamed!!!!

I responded back but don’t even remember what I said. I forwarded the text to J and she responded back that he sent her the same text. LOL But that was that. Another one bites the dust! I’m thinking that should be my theme song for my life in the realm of dating?!?

In Conclusion:

Dating disasters…actually I can’t even call them dating disasters because that would mean I actually had a date with them! But anyways…that means two men have now bit the dust leaving prospect #1 – Lansing man. But I don’t even have enough energy to give him a chance. Oh and I still haven’t heard anything more from him anyways so I guess that makes it easier to not have the energy to give him a chance.

I just don’t have any desire to keep up this dating charade or whatever you want to call it. Sure I have lots of ‘extra’ time on my hands with Caleb still being at his dad’s house but I honestly am wore out emotionally from this dating crap. Sigh.

I mentioned there were three new prospects:

1. The Lansing Man
2. The Older Man
3. The I Don’t Have a Nickname for You Man

I shared that I wasn’t really interested in prospect number three but was afraid to cancel a date that we had set up for this Friday. Well I still haven’t canceled. The email is wrote and ready to be sent, it’s just a matter of hitting send. I’m just not interested in him and it’s not fair to lead him on but I also am afraid of hurting his feelings. LOL

Prospect number one I wasn’t sure about. I don’t know anything about him and actually I haven’t heard from him in a couple days. And honestly I’m crossing him off my list. He lives in Lansing, that’s kind of far…well ok it’s really not that far from me but it’s still a distance.

Prospect number two. Ah yes The Older Man. There was a typo in yesterday’s post – I said he was 41. He’s not he is only 39…I’m not exactly sure where I came up with the 41. LOL

I said I was confused by the older man because he hadn’t asked me out and or hadn’t even called and it took forever for us to even exchange numbers. But that changed Monday night and we had been having a mad marathon session of texting back and forth.

But I was still confused and couldn’t figure out whether he was interested or not. Well that all changed…we have a date Friday night (how bad is it that I’m canceling one date for another date – no honestly I planned on canceling the other date before older man and I made plans to meet up Friday night!). We even talked on the phone forever after another crazy marathon of text messaging!

Maybe older men are a little more cautious than younger ones? It took a little hinting that I was available this weekend and that I was definitely interested in meeting before he finally ‘got’ it and we made plans!

Until next time…