Oh on a side note – he got 3 nights with them because he didn’t have school today so he got to spend Sunday night there and I met his dad 1/2 way today to get him back.

Anyways back to my issue at hand. Caleb and being a mouthy monster.

I love him dearly. But somedays that boy’s mouth just doesn’t know when to stop. Like right now. He comes back from his dad’s and suddenly everything I tell him to do is a sarcastic, snotty, mouthy I don’t have to do that at my dad’s, my dad doesn’t make me do that, my dad says, my dad my dad my dad…..ugh!

You would think that the little time Caleb spends with his dad (every other weekend and Holidays) wouldn’t effect him so much but Holy Hannah does it ever. And of course I have tried talking to his dad in the past about these issues and his dad always tells me “I don’t have any problems with him”. UGH.

Part of me is kind of laughing on the inside (isn’t that horrible?) because this summer Caleb will be spending 6 weeks…6 whole weeks at his dads house. After 6 weeks with our son if that man tries to tell me he didn’t have any problems with him I’m gonna know for sure he’s full of crap There’s no way that in a 6 week time frame Caleb isn’t going to get mouthy, talk back or not listen to his dad. Hehehehe I can’t wait for his dad and him to spend 6 whole weeks together. 24 hours a day 7 days a week….hmmm should be interesting! LOL.

It wasn’t something that the court agreed to. In fact we never made it to court – that’s a long story and it was a pain in the butt and frustrating as to why we never ended up in court in front of the judge.

It was to the point where I was sick and tired of driving up North (3-3 1/2 hours) every weekend and spending all that gas money (remember back to when gas was $4 a gallon? That didn’t make for a very pretty trip up and back). Caleb’s dad was refusing to work with me at all on meeting half way and after talking to our caseworker at friend of the court he accused me of ripping my son away from his dad and incidentally being the one that caused the problem so getting our son to his dad every other weekend was my responsibility.

Caleb’s dad and I were talking one Friday night after I had gotten up North and the subject of meeting 1/2 way came up. The only arrangement that we could come up with was that if I agreed to have his child support reduced by 1/2 to help offset his traveling costs every other weekend. So I agreed. I didn’t care at the moment – I was just glad that driving all the way every other weekend wasn’t something I was going to have to do anymore. So I wrote up a letter and that Sunday when Caleb’s dad brought Caleb to me I had him sign it. It felt good….at that time.

Now I’m convinced that was the stupidest thing I’d ever done before. A reduction of 1/2 is a pretty big chunk of change out of my pocket every month. And what really ticked me off is that his dad had the nerve to say something to be about the fact that friend of the court is taking an extra $15 something out each month because I have Medicaid on our son. He said there’s no reason I should have Medicaid on our son. Well his insurance doesn’t cover everything and with Caleb being back on his ADHD medicine I have to have a backup insurance that covers whatever his primary insurance doesn’t cover because at the moment I can’t afford to pay out of pocket what his insurance doesn’t cover. And while it states in our paperwork that his dad is responsible for 64% of uninsured medical bills it’s like pulling teeth to get him to help me pay that. When that man mentioned to me about that extra $15 being taken out every month I wanted to slap him. I mean seriously! This man should be kissing my rump considering I put quite a bit of money back into his pocket every month! But NO he doesn’t seem to stop and think about that instead he wants to complain to me about that freaking extra $15. UGH!

So that’s the story behind why his child support was reduced by half. Let me just say - it was the stupidest move I could of made. But I’ll deal with it and survive. It was my decision and no one elses.

The agreement didn’t come without a huge hurt to me. A huge hurt in the amount of HALF. In other words he’s now paying 1/2 of what he was paying in child support which is a huge financial burden to me to be losing that much monthly income. But he said the whole reason he was being jerky about meeting me 1/2 way and wouldn’t do it was because he couldn’t afford it so that’s where the reduction of child support came in (to help offset his traveling costs every other weekend – as if I don’t have traveling expense too!).

Sunday night when we met 1/2 way he informed that if he didn’t receive the paperwork from Friend of the Court by the next weekend that Caleb is to go up there that I would HAVE (there was no asking me he was flat out telling me I had to do it) to drive all the way up North.

Uhm excuse me?

Nope I don’t think so. It’s not MY fault that one of two things has happened here. (1) Either Friend of the Court hasn’t sent his paperwork yet or (2) because he hasn’t changed his address with them (which is his responsibility) they sent it but it went to his last known address which is an ex girlfriends & I seriously doubt she’d give it to him if it went there.

So maybe I’m being witchy in saying that NO I won’t do it but driving all the way is NOT my responsibility anymore (and I’m still doubting that it ever was in the first place but that’s a whole huge rant aside from this one).

UGH it’s so difficult dealing with him sometimes. I swear he thinks it’s still his privilege to annoy me or something.

Caleb’s dad and I had a really long talk Friday night about me having to drive up North every other weekend so he could have Caleb. Not only is it a long drive and expensive (side note: I’m way too excited that gas is down to $2.98 a gallon here!) but it’s not fair.

I have been VERY frustrated with Friend Of the Court. I thought they were here to help the mother and father but I’ve felt everything but helped lately. I have a pretty sour attitude about Friend of the Court lately and how they haven’t helped resolve anything and instead have left me feeling hopeless and running around like a chicken with its head chopped off.

I decided that once again I had to take matters into my own hands. Not that talking is really all that hard or really taking matters into my hands. But I think you get my point. I was so burned out and ticked off by the time I got up North Friday night I wasn’t sure whether to say anything to Caleb’s dad or just let things continue going how they have been. I opted to open my mouth thinking to myself are you dumb or what he’s not going to agree to meeting half-way now if he hasn’t done so yet.

But I talked regardless of that nagging little voice in my head. He listened. Looked me in the eye listened! And much to my surprise he agreed. He agreed to meeting half-way! I was so happy I could have hugged him. I typed up a letter to Friend of the Court and we both signed it and it’s in the mail as of today!

Woo Hoo!

I drove all the way back up North, spent $80 in gas only to get to the court house and find out that no one knows anything of any appointment for Caleb’s dad and I. Yes you read that correctly…no one knew of any appointment at 10:30am on the 18th. Considering I called on Monday to verify I had to be there and was told yes you can imagine how well this information went over with me. Not good! Regardless of how ticked I was I held my composure and for that I was proud.

I’d like to say that was the end of it. That I got in my car and drove back home. But it wasn’t. I got the joy of talking to the case worker that handles our case. You might be thinking well that must of been good. Wrong. Wrong wrong wrong. And thinking back I honestly have NO clue how I held my composure through the conversation with him. He informed me that I was ripping my son away from his dad. How the hell do you figure that? He is still getting the same amount of parenting time (every other weekend) as he always has. Of course the man couldn’t stop there he continued on to tell me that I’m the one that has created the problem by moving more than 100 miles away (which he informed me that law was instated way back in the 70’s….ok if that’s the case then why isn’t THAT in my paperwork? Why does MY paperwork tell me I can’t leave the state of MICHIGAN without the prior consent of the court??????).

I’m not over reacting when I say he over stepped his boundaries in the things he was saying to me. My grandma was standing there with me hearing exactly what I was hearing. I will be making a complaint against him and the way he spoke to me, saying the things he said. It was completely uncalled for.

So NOTHING was resolved today because there wasn’t anything for me to be there for. The real kicker? Chad was notified on Tuesday when he was there that we didn’t have to be in court today. And the man couldn’t pick up the phone and call to tell me (even had he called I would of called to confirm this myself). Regardless of the things he’s done if the roles were reversed and he was living 3 hours away and I had found out we didn’t need to be in court I would of had the decency to pick up the phone and tell him!!

So now what?

I wait. Until I get paperwork saying I have a court date. So sometime in the near future I’ll be making the lovely trip back up North to go to a ‘real’ hearing.

How’s that for a great day? NOT!