Just Got Sad News From My Dad
Why is it that when you are already having a rough day things just keep getting rougher and rougher?
It’s been one of those days and hearing what my dad just had to say put me over the edge. I’m ready to crawl into bed, pull the covers over my head and call it a D-A-Y. But I’m too emotional right now to think about sleep.
I’ve shared in past posts that my grandma (my dad’s mom) has been fighting with Alzheimers lately. I’d like to say my grams was winning but unfortunately the disease has taken a toll…not just on grams but gramps and everyone around. It’s been really hard seeing her go through this and it’s so heartbreaking. I still don’t know how to handle it. It’s hard when one minute she knows me but the next minute she has me confused with someone else.
The News?
My grams was put into a home today. I know there had been talk about it in the past but I wasn’t expecting it. I didn’t think my gramps would ever let her go.
My heart breaks just thinking about her laying in her bed tonight all by herself, lonely, unsure of where she’s at, expecting my grandpa to crawl into bed beside her. And then my heart breaks even more thinking about my gramps at home…all alone.
I think about the what if’s and find myself wondering if I can barely handle her being in a home how am I going to handle it when she….well you know. Part of me wonders why she has to go through this. It’s not fair.
I just wish I could be with her right now…hugging her, telling her how much I love her even if she wouldn’t recognize me or might confuse me with someone else. I love her so much and miss her sooooo much (she may be physically here with us but emotionally she’s not really here anymore).
Here’s a recent picture I took of Caleb and her: (you can click it to make it larger)
Oh what a day! Tomorrow will be better!
Until next time….
1Laura
wrote on 24 August 2009 at 23:57
Oh how sad
That is terribly sad news 
((HUGS)) to you and thoughts are with your family!
2Corrie
wrote on 25 August 2009 at 0:09
Tishia, I have gone through this with my hubby’s grandmother and now mine. It’s an evil and sad disease. I’ll keep you and your family in my prayers.
3Chrissy
wrote on 25 August 2009 at 0:14
OH My, I am so sad for grams & gramps too, I flashed with remembering The Notebook and now I am crying…my thoughts & prayers are with you and your family! HUGS!
4Donna
wrote on 25 August 2009 at 6:37
Oh, so sorry about your Grams. Any chronic condition like that can be so hard to deal with not only for the person inflicted but for the family and loved ones as well. I’m sure it was a decision your Gramps has struggled with for a long time. There’s never a clear cut “right” thing to do; you just have to have faith that in the end everyone did the best they could.
5Angie (Losing It and Loving It)
wrote on 25 August 2009 at 15:43
Tishia, I’m so sorry to hear your news. I’m having an emotional week too and I can only imagine how you’re feeling right now. Just wanted to be sure you knew I was thinking about you and sending hugs your way.
6Bobbi Janay
wrote on 26 August 2009 at 21:29
I am so sorry girl.
7Admin
wrote on 27 August 2009 at 0:57
Laura- Thanks for your comment I appreciate it.
Corrie- I’m sorry to hear you’ve been through it more than once. How hard! Thanks for your comment.
Chrissy – I keep praying that my grandma doesn’t get as bad as the woman in The Notebook. It’s hard enough now with her forgetting who I am but still knowing me once in awhile. If it gets to be like the lady in The Notebook I don’t know how I’ll be strong enough to make it through that.
Donna – Thank you for taking the time to comment. I appreciate it.
Angie – Thanks for taking the time to comment. I know you’ve been having a rough week as well.
Bobbi – Thanks for your comment.
8patsy
wrote on 27 August 2009 at 8:25
Tisha, so sorry to hear of the news. But….the sad fact is that grandpa has been alone…for while now..it’s the ugly part of this terrible Alzheimers..from this point on, your Grandfather can gain strength, which this condition can drain all caregivers. And get hugh relief, in knowing his beloved, is being taken care of. If it is possible he can spend his days at the home with her. She will not feel alone , on her good moments..So sorry, prayers go out for them.. Patsy
9Admin
wrote on 27 August 2009 at 9:49
Patsy Thank you for your comment. I guess I never really stopped to think about how tiring it’s had to of been on my grandpa lately and how he can rest now. The home that my grandma is in is only about 10 minutes from where my grandpa is so I’m sure he’ll be spending all the time he can with my grandma.
10chele
wrote on 27 August 2009 at 12:53
I’m so sorry Tishia. I’d give you a hug if I could reach you!
11Mary Lutz
wrote on 28 August 2009 at 0:22
(((HUGS)))) to you and your family, especially your Gramps.
12Admin
wrote on 29 August 2009 at 12:40
Chele – Thank you.
Mary – Thanks.
13Divina
wrote on 29 August 2009 at 21:38
I am very sorry luckily you have your family as your support system.
14Admin
wrote on 1 September 2009 at 15:27
Divina – Thank you for taking the time to comment. Yes I am lucky to have my family right now, we all are going to need to support one another through this difficult time.