I’m Thankful for My Son’s Dad
You know I’ve been thinking a lot lately about my ex, my son’s dad. I hear so many horror stories of deadbeat dads that just leave and don’t look back. But I have to say that despite all our up’s and down’s he’s a pretty darn good guy (for the most part LOL I mean we aren’t together so obviously there are things that aren’t good at least for him and I).
He’s not a dead beat dad. He pays his child support (which is required through Friend of the Court so he can’t really get around that one). But he goes above and beyond that always buying new clothes for our son, buying him shoes, paying for things he needs for school, helping pay for sports, paying for hair cuts, etc. I know those seem like things he should just do anyways but honestly he doesn’t have to do those things – he chooses to.
But even more than that. He’s gone way above and beyond that to help fix my car(s) on more than one occasion. That man has worked on more cars for me since we’ve been split up than when we were together. Seriously! He’s given me gas money to drive our son to him if he couldn’t come pick him up (ok so that happened only a few times when we lived up North & the drive was only ONE hour away not like now & a trip would be 3 1/2 hours one way).
I find it funny that him and I have a great (well maybe not great but a pretty good one) relationship now. We get along way better now than we did the entire time we were together. Sure we still have our spats every now and again but things are just so different now than they used to be. And I find it funny that he used to come over to my place and we would hang together and watch a movie, get pizza, etc. Who ever thought I’d ever get to that point? I certainly never thought that would ever happen. LOL
I honestly never thought there would be a day that I said I was thankful for my ex. But I’m at that point where I realize how much this man truly has done for me and I need to stop thinking about the ‘down’ things in our ‘relationship’.
I can say that I’m thankful that I have an ex that is so willing to be a part of our son’s life and to help me when he can. I’d say I’m pretty lucky compared to a lot of single moms (or single dads) dealing with an ex!
1NYCity Mama
wrote on 19 April 2009 at 21:28
Oh, that is certainly something to be thankful for. My ex says he loves his son, says he cares for him, but never comes to see him, and I will be making my second trip to family court this week. I am, however, extremely grateful for my husband, who has taken my son as his own, and provides for us all unconditionally and without prejudice. It was certainly much harder to deal with my ex as a single mom…and I am happy when I hear of another parent being spared the humiliation, frustration, and sadness that can come from having a bad ex.
NYCity Mama’s last blog post..Children’s Carnival, Queens County Farm
2dadshouse
wrote on 21 April 2009 at 1:12
That’s so nice to hear. I too have a good relationship with my ex, and I’m grateful she’s in my kids’ lives. She brings a parenting dynamic different than mine, and mine is different than hers. And on the rare occasion I get sick, she’ll even bring me chicken soup!
dadshouse’s last blog post..Divorce Didn’t Make Me a Homebody – So What Did?
3Mary Lutz
wrote on 24 April 2009 at 22:56
Well that’s good that you are becoming more at peace in your relationship with your son’s dad. It’s easier for sure when you can get along, especially on Caleb.
*Smiles*
Love ya!
Mary
Mary Lutz’s last blog post..Blogging About Whatever I Want Today
4Patti
wrote on 2 May 2009 at 9:01
It’s hard when people end the relationship.If a man stays in the child’s life we should be thankful.It’s not what a person buy a child that’s important but the time spent with the child.I was with my ex for 17 years and when he left he never looked back i ask for nothing from him and he didn’t give anything he turned his back on his kids not seeing or talking to them.That hurts the kids more then anything.My mom always said to me sometimes it’s better to say nothing.what i mean by that is if your ex wants to be in your kids life then let them.But only if it’s safe to do so.Say nothing on pick up or return even if it makes your skin crawl.Ask the child how it was and be thankful the ex returned your child unharmed.My ex will have to live with the fact that his kids grew up and want nothing to do with him and they wonder why… They will go one to blame the mother of there children but in my thoughts i don’t care what he thinks i was the better parent and i will hold my head high for the rest of my life.
Patti