If you’ve seen me on Twitter or Facebook today you heard my news – I’m once again with a vehicle that has crapped on me. I’m at the same crossroad that I’ve had 3 other times in the last 2 years (YES that makes 4 vehicles in 2 years!!!!). Actually now that I think about it I think it’s been 4 vehicles in the last 3 years…but still!

I’ve had the van since December 2008, not even a year yet. It’s a 1990 so almost 20 years old and has almost 150,000 miles on it. While I was NOT thrilled about driving a van it was honestly a good vehicle other than some brake issues that cost a pretty penny not long after I became the owner (but hey brake issues are something all vehicles have at some point in time). Oh and how can I forget not having windshield wipers for the last 5 or 6 months now LOL

So right after I moved in here (my mom and step dads) I started having issues with the transmission which we ended up thinking was only a sensor but after 3 hours at the garage today I was given the final ‘diagnosis’ and it wasn’t pretty – it was the transmission not just a sensor.

My options?

• Drive it till it dies (transmission falls out or whatever will happen when you drive a vehicle that has a bad transmission that doesn’t shift gears properly)
• Put a new transmission in it which would cost between $1100-$1300 (that’s cheaper than the 1st estimate)
• Go buy a new vehicle

My Decision?

I don’t have one right at this moment. I do know that I REFUSE to make another hasty decision based on my emotions like in the past! Yes it royally SUCKS not having a vehicle especially now that I’m at my parents and they live kind of out in the middle of nowhere.

But I can look at this in another way too – as a blessing. It’s a blessing this did NOT happen while I was still living in Flint and having to travel back & forth every other weekend to take Caleb to meet his dad. It’s a blessing that my mom can take me to the store if I need to go. It’s a blessing that my friend Mary lives about 10 minutes away & can swing by & pick me up for church. It’s a blessing I work from home & don’t need a car to get to a J-O-B! There’s so many positives in this situation it just took me a few minutes to stop & think about it!

I had my melt down today (ok so I had 2 melt downs lol). I went through the feeling sorry for myself emotions but aside from that I’m kind of proud of myself too. I snapped out of the sour mood and chose to think of the positives in the situation instead of focusing on the negatives.

Am I saying I’m ok that this happened? Well obviously no! I mean who wants to be without a vehicle? But once again there must be a reason in all this. I’m leaning on the one thing that I know can get me through this – God. In the past I haven’t done so great at looking to Him for my answers. Let me be honest – it’s really hard looking to someone that I can’t see to help me. I’ve always struggled with that since I became a Christian back in 2001. But I know that my God is an awesome God and a God of miracles and that He can make a way for anything to happen (in regards to the vehicle situation right now) and I’m believing that He has something in store!

So all that rambling to just say I REFUSE to feel sorry for myself. Not having a vehicle is pretty minor compared to what others are going through.