Dating And Doing What Was Right For Me
I find this whole situation….interesting.
If you read any of my posts about the “relationship” I had with D you know it wasn’t all that great from the get go. If you haven’t read the posts and are curious and have some time on your hands check out Do Men Seriously Act Like This, Second Chances and Forgiveness, Happy Valentine’s Day I Think, I Made a Really Big Mistake, The Jerk Finally Responded and last but certainly not least Another Confession – Will I Ever Learn?
I’m giggling as I look at all those links and the titles of those posts. I should have gotten the clue the first time something happened with D and I as I talked about in my post do men seriously act this way. But oh no I NEVER learn (or listen to my gut or my friends) that easily.
So anyways the point of this post is I knew I needed to tell D to take a hike…for good. I knew it was a matter of respecting myself and not allowing him to treat me the way he was and the way he has. I knew I deserved (and do deserve) way better than what I was getting out of this “relationship”.
So why was it so hard to do the right thing for me and walk away?
I don’t really know. I haven’t figured that one out yet. But from the time I made up my mind to end things (last Wednesday) until the day I actually did it (Sunday) I was making myself sick. I should have just done it when my mind was made up instead of dragging things out. And actually it wasn’t for a lack of trying because I did try to do it. I wanted to be grown-up and do it over the phone, I wanted to show him I have respect for him and the so called “relationship” we had by doing it over the phone but it didn’t happen that way. I did it via text. And I didn’t feel very good for doing it that way but I felt good for getting it over with.
After the text I sent him explaining I was respecting myself enough to walk away this time (he said something to me when we started seeing each other after the whole Valentine’s Day incident and ‘break’ we took that really stuck in my head – he told me he knew I wouldn’t walk away – and it really bothered me. Those words were always at the fore front of my brain and it was like because he thought that about me that it gave him the right to continue treating me the way he was…did that make sense?) I finally got a response from him in which I replied instead of just leaving it alone. We went back and forth a few times but I still stuck it out and he knows I’m done.
I find the whole situation interesting because not only did I let him back in my life once or twice but three times! Uhm hello! Don’t even ask what I was thinking because I obviously wasn’t. LOL
So here I am again…single. Of course even in this so called “relationship” I wasn’t really off the market. So I guess my single status isn’t new it’s always been there. LOL
Now it’s just a matter of sticking to my guns and if he does contact me again to not fall back into the same revolving door of a messed up unfulfilling “relationship”.
1Canadian Bald Guy
wrote on 27 April 2009 at 22:29
Nobody deserves to be treated poorly. And regardless of how much you may care for an individual, things won’t change after the THIRD TIME (lol).
Good to know you’ve made a decision. Here’s hoping you stick by it and always remember WHY you did it to begin with.
Canadian Bald Guy’s last blog post..Quick & random…
2Jen @ One Moms World
wrote on 27 April 2009 at 22:40
Good job Tishia. We do have to just trust our instincts. (((HUGS))) girlie!!!
Jen @ One Moms World’s last blog post..Watch Out NYC For The Next Fashion Diva
3Angie (Losing It and Loving It)
wrote on 27 April 2009 at 22:46
So proud of you for sticking with it. Just think…would you want Caleb seeing how D treated you? Nope! That would not be good at all to have someone like that in your world. You will find the right guy, just don’t look for him and he’ll come along. Hugs to ya, you definitely made the right choice.
Angie (Losing It and Loving It)’s last blog post..Menu Plan Monday: April 27
4Laura
wrote on 28 April 2009 at 1:56
Babes I have been there! It took me nearly a year from the day I realised I needed to walk away to actually walking away!
Same story – he treated me badly but thought I would never leave so there was no need for him to change!
Nearly a year later he still cant understand why I wont drop things to see him!
WELL DONE! You did good
5Deanna
wrote on 28 April 2009 at 6:15
Good for you! I know from personal experience, love isn’t always enough. Especially if it’s one-sided. Take care of you!
Deanna’s last blog post..Bouncing Bill
6Tishia Lee
wrote on 28 April 2009 at 23:26
Canadian Bald Guy – Yep you are definitely right about things not changing especially after the 3rd time. I’m definitely sticking with the decision I’ve made.
Jen - If I had went with my gut feeling I wouldn’t have let him back in my life after he just up and disappeared for a month. But hindsight is 20/20. I can’t dwell on the past & how I didn’t listen to myself (or anyone else for that matter lol), I can only move forward and learn from the experience.
Angie – Excellent point. I wouldn’t want Caleb to see the “relationship” D and I had. Caleb knew I was dating someone but he was never introduced to him (thank God!). I know it was definitely the right decision. My Mr. Right is out there somewhere
Laura – Thanks. I was going to say I’m glad it didn’t take me a year to walk away but technically it’s been almost a year. I met him in September right after moving down here so it’s been about 7 months since I’ve been settling from so much less than what I want and DESERVE in a relationship. Isn’t it funny that we can know something is wrong for us but yet we can’t walk away right away?
Deanna – It wasn’t love in our case. I wasn’t in love with him and he wasn’t in love with me. But whatever it was between us it was definitely one sided – me giving and giving and never getting anything in return. And I definitely need to spend more time taking care of me instead of worrying about a relationship.
Thanks for all your comments