Completely Pathetic
I’m no Jillian Michael’s when it comes to fitness (or healthy eating/my diet). Ok ok so I’m not even anywhere near being close to Jillian Michael’s let alone anyone physically fit! I’ve never hid the fact that I’ve struggled with my weight my entire life or the fact that I’m not exactly the most active person. If there was an award for most inactive person of the year – you’d see my name & picture next to it!
The point to all this?
Tuesday I got outside to enjoy the beautiful weather. (It’s not very often that in Northern Michigan in November we have 50-60 degree days so you have to take full advantage of it when it happens!) I took Bridget & Bailey (my mom & step dad’s 2 annoying adorable Cocker Spaniels) for a walk.
Walking is just a normal activity. Heck a normal everyday activity for most people. Unfortunately working form home has definitely made me pretty relaxed LAZY when it comes to physical activity including walking!
So let’s just say Tuesday’s 30 minute walked turned my legs into rubber! I had charlie horses like you wouldn’t believe that night and when I woke up yesterday (Wednesday) morning I had horrible pain in my shins!
I didn’t give in to the pain even though I so wanted to! I pushed through the pain and in the morning started back on my Fat Loss Quickie program, then in early afternoon I exercised on my rebounder (ok so you might not think that jumping on a little trampoline thing is exercise but it is!) and then shortly after that I decided to take a walk.
My Completely Pathetic Moment?
It was the walk that did me in and killed me. The simple most NORMAL thing in the world for most people did me in!
Yes I’m obviously being dramatic here. But seriously I didn’t think I would make it back home. At one point my legs were hurting so bad that they just gave out on me & I fell! Bridget (the dog) stopped and just looked at me like are you for real?
I sat there completely humiliated (wondering what the car that had just passed me was thinking – and wondering too why they didn’t stop to see if I was ok!) and crying so hard I thought I would throw up! I sat there thinking how completely pathetic this was. And how utterly sad it is! Sad that I let myself get to the point where something as simple as taking a walk is so hard.
But there was also the moment of realization that if I were on The Biggest Loser (I’ve seriously wanted to be on this show for the last several seasons but honestly what are the chances that a small town Michigan girl would get picked over the millions of applicants that apply?) at that moment Jillian would be having a hay day with me! She’d be in my face screaming at me to get up & keep going. Anyone that watches the show knows that she shows no mercy!
Somehow I mustered the strength to get up, brush myself off and keep going! It wasn’t easy. My legs were like spaghetti noodles by the time I got home. My hands and knees hurt (from when I fell) and I was just plain tired both physically and emotionally.
They say you have to reach your lowest point, the bottom of the barrel. I’m pretty sure yesterday afternoon as I sat crying on the ground with a silly dog staring at me, just confirming how truly pathetic the situation was, that I reached my lowest point. My breaking point. I can’t go on like this anymore. It’s time to do something and be serious about sticking to the long journey I know it will be!
Oh yeah and today the pain in my legs is way worse than it was yesterday. I can barely put any weight on my left leg because the pain in my calf and shin is so bad. I’m not quite sure how I’m going to exercise around this pain today but I’ve gotta find the strength because I can’t give up again!
1Scott Tousignant
wrote on 12 November 2009 at 9:38
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experience with us Tishia. I fairly certain that you are not the only person who has gone though something like this. I’m also fairly certain that the last thing that you would have needed at that moment would be some glamorized television trainer yelling at you and telling you how pathetic you are… because that’s far from the truth.
You set out to do something good for yourself and I know that you weren’t feeling the greatest either since you were still recovering from being sick.
This isn’t a time to get down on yourself. This is a time to celebrate. Celebrate your new awareness. Awareness that you know you can’t continue to neglect your health and the awareness that you deserve the best that life has to offer.
Awareness is the greatest thing to celebrate in health and fitness. Too many people would have used that moment to give up and go back to a sedentary lifestyle. But not you.
This is your moment. It’s all about you and becoming the best you that you can be. It’s about realizing that you are GREAT right now and you are capable of even greater things.
Just taking the step that you have today places you at the top of the pack of super-achievers.
It’s great to celebrate the end results of achieving your goals. But it’s victories like the one that you have just experienced that deserve even more recognition.
I am truly grateful to have you as a friend and to be sharing in this journey with you. You absolutely ROCK!
Take things in stride and always take a moment to share your smallest of victories.
Scott Tousignant
2Author (Tishia)
wrote on 12 November 2009 at 9:59
Scott – Thanks so much for your kind words and words of encouragement! I was so embarrassed yesterday to realize that I was at such a low point health wise. I mean I’ve known that for a long time but to actually see the results of an inactive lifestyle take effect the way they did when I just tried to take a walk…wow. And yes I did get down on myself but I guess I certainly need to be proud of the fact that I made the decision to get up and move my computer butt in the first place
3Cindy Bidar
wrote on 12 November 2009 at 10:15
You’re not completely pathetic. What would have been pathetic would be to say “Look what terrible shape I’m in, I guess I’ll go eat a box of Twinkies.” You didn’t do that (and there are many many people who would) so don’t be so hard on yourself!
4Tara
wrote on 12 November 2009 at 11:17
I’m with you girl! Let’s do this thing together! I have a LOOOOONG way to go! But I know it can be done! I lost 147 lbs. 5 years ago through God’s grace, diet and exercise and through a series of major life changes and disappointments, I’ve put almost all of it back on (wow that was hard to admit). So, here I go again!
5Vanessa
wrote on 12 November 2009 at 12:18
Way to go Tishia!!! I walk almost every day at lunch time, if the weather let me….it’s gonna get better, I promise, you will feel full of energy. Keep the good work!
6Christie
wrote on 12 November 2009 at 14:08
Congrats for getting out there and doing something Tishia!! That is definitely not completely pathetic, that is working towards your goal! Be proud of yourself for not giving up and thinking “oh I can’t even go for a walk, so why bother?”. You are out there being proactive, and although you might not feel like it, you are being a role model. Keep it up and in a few short weeks you will be a walking machine
7Shannon Smith
wrote on 12 November 2009 at 16:07
One of my worst fears is my legs giving out while I’m walking. Whether it be while walking for exercise or walking around the zoo. Sometimes I’m just not sure how I’m going to make it back to the car/house. Thank you for sharing your experience. It helps when you know you’re not alone.
8Angie (Losing It and Loving It)
wrote on 14 November 2009 at 0:48
Tishia,
I know you can do this! I’m so glad you’re taking the steps to get healthier but please don’t over do it. I do that often and in the process hurt myself which slows down progress. Sounds like you need to do some GOOD stretching after your workout. Also bananas will help with that shin stuff. Have one every morning and you should see a big difference.
Keep up the great work. I’ll be starting a rebounding challenge soon so be on the lookout. I just started getting back into it so hopefully you would be interested. Was it Kelly who did one a while ago? I need to touch base with her to see if she might want to get involved too.
You know I’m here for you. Do you still have the Walk Away the Pounds videos I sent you? Try to do those often.
Wishing you the best!
9admin
wrote on 14 November 2009 at 14:21
Wow thank you all for all your kind words & encouragement!
Cindy – I love your “Look what terrible shape I’m in, I guess I’ll go eat a box of Twinkies.” Food was the last thing on my mind at that moment. lol
Tara – 147lbs lost is amazing! I know what you mean about gaining it all back. I’ve been there too. I always lose & then gain it back plus more! It’s a horrible cycle to be stuck in! I feel like I’m stuck in a revolving door and can’t get ‘out’.
Vanessa – I’m pretty sure it can’t get worse! That’s great that you walk every day at lunch weather permitting!
Christie – Never thought of myself a role model but I guess now that you pointed it out I kind of am – I’m showing others that are like me (out of shape & overweight) that it can be done!
Shannon – My legs giving out on me was never something I’ve experienced before. It was awful & not something I care to ever go through again! It took a lot for me to post this. I mean I’ve shared my struggled with weight and being out of shape before but it’s never been this bad before. And the thing that finally made me do it was because of exactly what you just said “it helps when you know you’re not alone.” I figure if even just 1 person can benefit from my story then it’s worth sharing!
Angie – Thanks for the tip about bananas. I’ll definitely be buying some on my next shopping trip! Can’t wait for your rebounder challenge and yes it was Kelly that did one. Yes I still have the walk away the pounds videos from you. I started doing it a few days ago again
10Shannon
wrote on 15 November 2009 at 5:03
Oh Tishia you aren’t pathetic – you got out there and walked; that’s progress! I go in spurts with my exercise and end up with pain like that too sometimes and then I don’t want to exercise. But stretching helps – and so does good shoes. A few months ago I was having a lot of leg pain with walking and my chiropractor finally realized what the problem was – my shoes were worn out. Got new shoes just for walking and it fixed the problem. So it might not just be that you are still building up strength, but maybe something else (like shoes or the terrain you are walking) that is causing the pain.
Hang in there! You can do this.
…Shannon
11Angela Wills
wrote on 15 November 2009 at 21:39
I’m going to jump on the YOU ARE NOT PATHETIC train too. Tishia you are awesome and amazing and you can do it!
I have to add how amazing Scott is too. Make sure you stick around him! I think one of the biggest ways Scott’s program is different is that it works on your confidence, motivation and accountability – things that just loosing weight will only temporarily help. I feel so much stronger mentally because of doing the FLQ program.
I also have to add that you are absolutely NOT the only one to experience the terrible pain in your legs due to sitting at the computer for far too long. I had it happen to me last year. Getting a really good pair of shoes and gradually working up to longer walks helped me.
12admin
wrote on 16 November 2009 at 1:07
Shannon – Thank you for your comment. You know I never stopped to think about the shoes I’m wearing. I’m wearing a pair of my favorite tennis shoes but they are really old and worn out. Think it’s probably time to pitch them and get a new pair made for walking!
Angela – Thanks for commenting! Scott is awesome and you are right about his program being different in that it works on confidence, motivation and accountability!
13casual friday every day
wrote on 22 November 2009 at 23:39
Watch those words my friend. They are powerful and you’ll start believing you really are pathetic, which you are not. You’re a beautiful child of God with an incredible heart and a purpose in this life. God looks at you every day and thinks you are the most beautiful being!
Nell
14admin
wrote on 23 November 2009 at 12:39
Nell – Yes those words are powerful and you are so right about starting to believe them. That’s been the story of my life…always believing the nasty things that not only other people have said to me but the things I’ve also said to myself. It’s something I need to work on!
Thank you for your kind words. You put a smile on my face just simply by reminding me that I am a beautiful child of God.
15Bobbi Janay
wrote on 26 November 2009 at 21:05
Tisha, what I am about to say is because I have watched to many people I care about stop caring about fitness. Get up and get out dieting can only go so far, walk with friends, go to gyms that offer classes sign up for a class then there is accountability, and stop working just for a minute and stretch. I don’t want you get passed the point of no return health wise and the key with food is moderation not dieting. I care about you and your health.
16Author (Tishia)
wrote on 27 November 2009 at 11:48
Bobbi – Thank you for your comment. I appreciate knowing that you care
I’ve had gym memberships before and they didn’t work, I always stopped going and paid for nothing. I’ve done an aerobics class before with a friend – same as with the gym memberships, I always stopped going. And honestly right now there is NO way I could take an aerobics class or anything. The little bit of walking and Fat Loss Quickie exercises I’ve been doing (well I haven’t done them lately) have been too much for me. Until I lose a SIGNIFICANT amount of weight I won’t be able to do aerobics or anything like that!