A Decision Has Been Made
A Decision Has Been Made About Moving
It’s really hard to write this. I’m actually crying as I type it.
Since my most recent post, I’m at a Fork in the Road, a decision has been made about moving. It was one of the toughest decisions I’ve made but one that had to be done as quickly as possible without it being an impulsive decision.
For anyone that knows anything about BiPolar disorder impulsive decisions are something I struggle with on a pretty frequent basis. However, I’ve gotten a lot better at realizing I have to stop myself and think about things before making a decision. It’s hard but I’m learning to deal with it.
After lots of praying, talking, pros/cons lists I went with what I had the most peace about even though the thought of moving back up North made me cry. I made the final decision today that moving up North into my mom and step dad’s house is what needed to be done…for right now. I’ve set a goal of to be out of there in 6 months. If 6 months doesn’t happen then I will give myself one year, 12 full months but that’s it.
Taking A Step Backwards
It’s hard to take a step backwards when I’ve made so many steps forward. And no matter the pros of moving in with the parental units it’s still a step backwards. I’ve shed lots of tears over the decision but now it’s time to put my best foot forward and make the best of it. In other words it’s time to put my big girl panties on, suck it up and deal with it.
I’m proud that I made the decision almost one year ago to pick up and move 3 1/2 hours south, to get a fresh start, to experience city living again, to provide opportunities for my son. I remind myself that it took courage to do that but I did it. And I made it through lots of different things that were thrown my way and that reminds me that I’m strong and I’ll make it through this bump in the road too.
A friend once told me, when I said “I’ll survive”, “don’t just survive but thrive” and that’s what I plan on doing – THRIVING. I’m not going to let this bring me down. I’ve been doing so good and I plan on continuing to keep on doing good.
Just Another Journey
So I say…here’s to another one of God’s journeys he has in store for me! Only he knows what the future has in store for me and for once I’m really ok with that. I’m truly ok with everything going on because I know he’s in control.
Until next time…
1Michelle
wrote on 22 July 2009 at 17:00
If this is the decision that gives you peace, then go with it. Hopefully setting time limit goals will make it more acceptable to yourself and will give you incentive. While you are there, perhaps look in the area you want to live in for roommate situations (other single moms) to help you get back to the area you want to live in. Good luck!
2Alaina Frederick
wrote on 22 July 2009 at 18:11
Hey. I can really relate to you with the depression and mood swings. It’s hard. It’s really hard.
write things out. Have your plan of action in writing and really stick to the time frame. We were to live in a family’s house for a year and that turned into 4. I really wish you the best of luck and will keep you in my prayers.
As Michelle said as long as you have peace (and have prayed) about this direction then you know what to do.
3Christie
wrote on 22 July 2009 at 18:24
I bet you feel better just knowing you made the decision. Although you are not looking forward to this move, maybe something really fantastic will come out of it that will rock your world. I hope you have some peace now and can get back to focusing on your goals
4Keri
wrote on 22 July 2009 at 18:34
I think you made the right decision. It’s just a bump in the road in your journey. Smoother road is ahead!
5Kim Smith
wrote on 22 July 2009 at 18:52
Geez, Tishia, I’m almost in tears here. You’re so brave and I’m so proud of you! You’ve got a great support network–look to us (and to God, of course) for strength when you don’t feel like you have any more.
Honestly, after spending time with you last week, I would not have guessed you’re bi-polar. You must be doing okay with it or we would have noticed.
6Tammy
wrote on 22 July 2009 at 23:01
i’m so proud of you for making this decision!! I know we’ve talked about it many times before in one of our many discussions : ) I agree – THRIVE baby! You will and you’ll meet your new goals! I’ll be home on Saturday – so we can catch up then!!
7Admin
wrote on 22 July 2009 at 23:49
Michelle – Thanks for your comment and advice.
Alaina – Thanks for stopping by and commenting. I love my mom and step dad dearly but 4 years is NOT an option! My mother and I would kill each other by then lol. Thank you for the prayers they are definitely needed and appreciated.
Christie – Thanks for the comment. I didn’t like making the decision but once I did it definitely lifted a burden off my shoulders. And I’d love it if something happened that rocked my world
My best friend said maybe I’ll find my prince charming…considering the area I’m moving back to uhm fat chance of that but who knows!
Keri – Thank you for your comment. Yep I believe smoother water is ahead!
Kim – Thanks for your concern, caring and prayers. The bipolar diagnosis was several months ago and I’m doing really well with it. I’ve learned some coping mechanisms and ways to deal with things instead of medicine. I still have bad days but I’ve come really far.
Tammy – Thank you. I will thrive and not just survive
8heather
wrote on 23 July 2009 at 0:08
I lived at home for 3 years wimy kids trying to regroup after my sepapration. It will be hard but so worth it when it comes to your son. I had a chance to go back to school and save money so that I could make it on my own. Its hard to ask for help but sometimes its needed. Hang in there.
9Chrissy
wrote on 23 July 2009 at 2:16
I have a tough time too making decisions especially big ones along the lines of yours, although hubby and I discuss them I always leave the final decision in his lap.
Your strength is inspiring Tishia and from now on I will not lay the burden of big decisions solely on my husbands lap! Your situation has taught me something about myself and I thank you for sharing it!
Sending you BIG HUGS! I am very proud to call you a friend! You totally have my support and well wishes
10Teresa
wrote on 23 July 2009 at 8:10
Tishia, I wish you wouldn’t look at it as a step backwards. Choosing a safe and loving home with a stable environment is a good decision. I often think this country is too hung up on independence. Years ago extended families lived together and no one thought twice about it. I think you’re making a smart choice.
11Admin
wrote on 23 July 2009 at 13:16
Heather – I keep reminding myself that this will be good for my son, he’ll be back up by his dad and will once again have the freedom to see him as often as he likes. It will also help me financially to not have to spend so much money on gas traveling back and fort to our drop off/pick up location.
Chrissy Thanks for your comment. Like I said in my email, I’ve always said that if my situation can help at least one person then it’s worth it.
Teresa – I like what you said about years ago extended families lived together & no one thought twice about it. Now-a-days it seems like there is a negative outlook about adult children moving back home, etc. My dad even said to me several months agao that in this economy families need to pull together and help one another out and he’s so right.
12Laura
wrote on 24 July 2009 at 12:36
We do what we must my friend!!!
((hugs)) it will work out!
13Mary Lutz
wrote on 25 July 2009 at 13:08
Well my friend Tishia, I must say I’m happy you’re moving back up here to my neck of the woods
. I know, that’s totally selfish of me. But think of all the fun we can have together! You can come to my house and we can do our VA work together like we did that one day you were up for a visit. We can do Weight Watchers together, we can walk with Trisha or around BF, or we can just hang out and play Speed Scrabble and other exciting games. LOL. I know those aren’t as cool as the stuff you can do in the city, but hey…Anyway, as the other’s said, it’s a good decision that will help you get back on your feet and keep you and Caleb safe. And it’s only temporary! There is a light at the end of the tunnel, though going through the tunnel is the sucky part. But there is light! 
Love you!
14Admin
wrote on 31 July 2009 at 0:19
Laura Thanks for the hugs and yea I know we do what we must do.
Mary LOL Somehow I knew you wouldn’t be too sad about me moving back up that way