I just finished reading War Journal My Five Years in Iraq – Richard Engel NBC News Middle East Correspondent. It was definitely an interesting read but very descriptive…sometimes too real for me. It probably wasn’t the most brilliant book for me to choose considering my boyfriend is over there at the moment. I heard it was good and regardless of the fact it was about the war I had to read it.

I’m still speechless over some of the stuff I read. There were things I didn’t agree with, things I did agree with and then there were the parts of the book that got my undies in a bunch! The one thing that drew me to the book was the realness, the rawness of it. As I said above some of it was a bit too descriptive for me but for the most part I truly enjoyed it and it shed some new light on everything.

Orphanage:

One section of the book brought me to tears. Engel was telling about visiting the Alwiya orphanage, home to 56 girls aged 6-13. He shared about how these girls hungered for attention, it was just as much a need as food and water but they didn’t get it. A social worker told Engel “They need attention and there is no love here in Baghdad. We can’t give them what they really want, their mother’s touch.” While that broke my heart, it’s not a unique situation I’m sure. All orphanages can’t provide what children really need. As I read more it broke my heart to think how scary it must be for those kids being in the midst of a war not having a mother or father to look to, to feel safe. Engel went on to write about the girls calling the cameraman “daddy” and asking him (Engel) if he had any children and if he would adopt them. Now that broke my heart. I can’t imagine. He even stated that he had never been as affected by a story.

Cheating:

The part that really ruffled my feathers (and caused me to cry even more than reading about everything else) is an issue that has always made me cringe because it’s so personal to me coming from several relationships where I’ve been cheated on. Engel spent lots of time with soldiers and they talked about the one enemy they couldn’t tolerate. The enemy they hated more than the insurgents. He was called Jody. One soldier explained a Jody to Engel as “the guy back home with your wife or girlfriend, the guy hiding in a corner, behind the curtain, or hiding in the closet.” Engel went on to write that during basic training the soldiers sang cadences to Jody, the songs they chant to keep time & rhythm as they run and do push-ups.

After one of these conversations Engel wrote a blog about Jody for MSNBC.com. Within twenty-four hours, hundreds of emails were received. Some were sad, some were funny.

A Marine Corps Veteran shared his story – “I lost my fiancee to Jody while deployed overseas. I received the Dear John letter while aboard the USS Tarawa, headed for a joint military exercise with South Korea. Words cannot express the pain and anger I felt at the time…”

One girl offered her own advice on how soldiers should keep Jody away. “I have an answer for Jody. It’s called BOB (if you don’t know what that stands for, I’ll leave it to your imagination). Every serviceman that is married or has a girlfriend should buy her BOB before he leaves.”

One gentleman even made a public confession that he was a Jody! After the war first started he would go out to bars and there were all kinds of unattached women that he’d never seen before. He shared that most were attached but their attachment was serving his country overseas. In all his time of going to bars he’d never had such luck. He went on to ask so am I to blame because I didn’t ask? Maybe. I don’t know.

The favorite comment by Engel was “draft all Jodys!”

Cheating has never made sense to me. I don’t get it. When I’m in a relationship I’m in it because he’s who I want to be with. I’m not out looking for someone else. I’ve had a couple people tell me that I should be dating and having other ‘relationships’ because Seth is in Iraq and he’ll never know. What the heck? I care very much for Seth and waiting on him is what I choose to do. I knew going into this what a relationship with him was going to be like. I knew I wouldn’t have the ‘normal’ relationship things like date nights, hand holding, etc but when I first realized I cared more about him than a friend none of that mattered to me. The ‘intimacy’ of conversation was more important than date night, hand holding or cuddling on the couch.

I’ve heard people say after cheating that it just happened. In my opinion it can’t just happen without you allowing it to happen. You don’t just start spending time with a man without realizing you are doing it. You don’t start having conversations with a man without knowing it.

Thumbs Up:

Anyways back to the book. I would recommend it. For the most part it’s a thumbs up. Be warned – there is a lot of bad language and it’s very very descriptive when it comes to his writing about the things he’s seen. We all know war isn’t a pretty picture and believe me when I say Engel paints a picture of the things he’s seen!