I’m in one of those moods. One of ‘those’ moods that can’t be described because I don’t even know what the heck ‘that’ mood is. It’s been an up/down day with my emotions. It doesn’t help that I’m still exhausted, still sick, still behind on VA work, still have some unpacking to do, that a certain someone got hurt and that my baby is going to be 10 tomorrow! How on earth can he be turning 10? It just doesn’t even seem possible. He asked me “mom will I feel different now that I’m gonna be in the double digits?” Kids! LOL

I feel like a race car driver doing mock 90 down the racetrack. My brain is moving about that fast right now. I have so many thoughts running through my head I can’t even process them all. It’s making me anxious/panicky feeling. And that feeling just plain ole sucks.

I’m so ‘lost’ feeling again. I mean I’m in a better place than I have been in the past with my depression and things but I’m just feeling drained and…weird. That’s the only word I can think of to describe what I’m feeling.

I totally love the new house. I can’t even begin to describe what it’s like being in a house after so many years in an apartment! It’s so perfect for the 2 of us. It’s absolutely adorable and totally ‘me’! Caleb likes it and has adjusted very well to his new school, new friends and new teacher. I’m really impressed with the teacher he has. She has been so accommodating to him and I to make this a smooth transition. Finally after several years in a public school I know what it’s like for my son to have a good teacher. I’m not saying that in the past he hasn’t had a good teacher but they were never willing to work with me and the issues Caleb has. His new teacher has just been amazing, a blessing and everything I’ve ever wanted in a teacher for my son!

I sit back and think about this move and the fact that finally….finally after 4 years of TALKING about it I just DID it. I took ACTION and made it happen. My head is still spinning with how fast everything happened and of course my bank account is still way depleted from the move and all the gas and moving expenses but I did it. I did it on my own. I finally took charge of my life and set into action something I wanted for myself and my son. And that makes me a happy woman.

I’ve had a couple people tell me how strong and courageous of a person I am to uproot myself & my son and start over fresh. I never thought of it as me being strong and courageous. I thought of my well being, of the opportunities the move would give Caleb and I. Me strong? Me courageous? Now that’s funny. Those are 2 words that don’t come to mind when I think of myself! But the more I think about it, it definitely took some “balls” to do what I did. And I can say that I’m peaceful about the move and looking forward for what lies ahead.

Told you these were random thoughts! LOL My mind is racing 30,000 miles an hour and going in every possible direction and then some.