So I’ve come to the conclusion that out of this car experience God is working on my patience (sigh! LOL) and getting over that ‘acting out of emotion rather than prayer’ issue I seem to have sometimes.

I can tend to act quickly and out of emotion rather than take a look at the situation, pray and then act. I’m getting better at it but it’s still a struggle. It was a struggle a couple week’s ago on Saturday, August 4th when I was ready to act on impulse and purchase a car for LOTS of money with a really HIGH interest rate and pay an ungodly amount of money each month for a payment (that I knew I couldn’t afford). I was caught up in the moment and at that moment I was LOVING driving the Grand Prix that had air conditioning blasting, radio blasting, windows that rolled up and down, etc, etc but deep down in my spirit I clearly felt God telling me to wait. Thankfully it was Saturday afternoon and I couldn’t drive off the lot with the car until Monday so I didn’t sign papers or anything.

And the acting out of emotion goes right along with another tiny little issue I’ve always had – patience (or should I say lack of patience?). So I’m pretty sure the whole lesson overall with this car situation is that I have to be rational and logical here and look to God for the answer/solution instead of acting out of emotion and doing something unrational.

A couple days ago a friend suggested that I take over the payments on one of their cars because her husband was wanting to look at a different car. The loan would of been small – $2,000.00 but I would of had to have a co-signer (and quite frankly I’m not sure that even a co-signer would help me get a loan!!!). It sounded like a GRAND plan at the time but I knew in my spirit it was wrong.

I know God doesn’t want me to borrow money to obtain a car. I know debt is a huge issue with me and God definitely doesn’t want me adding to the already rough situation I have with debt.

The very next day the option of a co-signer for a small loan was presented to me by my mom and step dad. But again I knew it was wrong. It’s hard to explain to my family and friends why I’m not jumping at the chance to find a $2,000.00 car and have my step dad co-sign. People aren’t understanding how I can not take the offer considering I have no car.

I can understand why people are questioning my decision because in my mind (and in my flesh) I keep rationalizing everything about how I’m in a desperate situation here and have every right to take advantage of what is being offered to me but there is that still small voice deep down in my heart, sould and spirit clearly speaking the word “NO”. I’ve always been hearing “be still and know that I am here, continue to wait and be patient”.

So it’s definitely got to do with building my faith up and believing that I’m doing the right thing because I’m hearing from God and I’m clearly hearing I have to wait. As much as my flesh doesn’t like this idea my heart is very very peaceful about it.

So I’m ready to wait for a car to come into my hands whether it means I’m going to be waiting for 3 more days, 3 more weeks, or heck even 3 more years, I’m happy to wait because I know God’s got a grand plan in all this